How to Win Friends & Influence People

Lessons from How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Don't criticize, condemn, or complain - criticism puts people on the defensive and accomplishes nothing positive
Give honest and sincere appreciation - people crave genuine recognition more than almost anything else
Arouse in others an eager want - frame requests in terms of what the other person wants, not what you want

Become genuinely interested in other people - show authentic curiosity about their lives and concerns
Smile - a genuine smile makes you appear more likeable and approachable
Remember that a person's name is the sweetest sound to them - use their name frequently in conversation
Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves - people love discussing their own interests
Talk in terms of the other person's interests - focus conversations on what matters to them
Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely - everyone wants to feel valued and significant

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it - arguments rarely change minds and often damage relationships
Show respect for others' opinions and never say "You're wrong" - this immediately creates defensiveness
If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically - taking responsibility disarms criticism
Begin in a friendly way - approach disagreements with warmth rather than hostility
Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately - start with points of agreement
Let the other person do a great deal of the talking - people are more convinced by their own words
Let others feel the idea is theirs - people support ideas they help create
Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view - genuine empathy builds connection
Be sympathetic with others' ideas and desires - acknowledge their feelings as valid
Appeal to nobler motives - assume people want to do the right thing
Dramatize your ideas - make your points memorable and engaging
Throw down a challenge - people respond to opportunities to prove themselves

Begin with praise and honest appreciation - start positive before addressing problems
Call attention to mistakes indirectly - avoid direct confrontation when correcting errors
Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing others - show vulnerability and relatability
Ask questions instead of giving direct orders - let people reach conclusions themselves
Let others save face - preserve dignity even when they're wrong
Praise every improvement, even small ones - recognize progress to encourage more
Give others a fine reputation to live up to - people often rise to meet positive expectations
Use encouragement and make faults seem easy to correct - maintain optimism about change
Make others happy about doing what you suggest - help them see benefits and feel good about actions